Friday the 13th, Part III

Being an implacable psychotic killer is better than being a nothing

1982

Review: May 3, 2008

Director: Steve Miner

Starring: Dana Kimmell, Paul Kratka, Richard Brooker, Anne Gaybis, Nick Savage

Probably.

THE SETUP:

On the weekend following part 2, Jason kills more people and finally gets his signature hockey mask.

DISCUSSION:

So after being completely delighted by the first and eighth in this series, I decided that I'll just take them in order, one by one, spread out for those times when you really just need a Friday the 13th movie. This one was originally in 3-D, and there are a few posts on the IMDb about how wonderful and amazing it was in 3-D—and it does seem like it would be a lot of fun—but alas, all we have here are a bunch of things sticking straight into the camera in totally boring 2-D.

We open with a flashback to the ending of part two, in which Amy Steel whacks Jason a good one on the head, then runs away. We see Jason crawl off [not sure if we actually saw that in part two] and he heads off to a nearby town, apparently. After the 3-D credits coming at the screen, we have a nice opening shot of these different-colored sheets slowly flapping in the breeze. It looks great but—don't these people have any matching sheets? There's this middle-aged couple there, including this nagging wife who hears about the murders of the previous night on the news and gets freaked out, and her husband Harold. Harold has a bunny that he holds to his shoulder and it just sits there as he walks around and goes about his business, and if you saw this movie and wondered if bunnies really act like that, I can tell you—yes, bunnies really act like that. I was laughing throughout, because I wasn't sure if other rabbits acted like mine, who I just pick up and hold while I work on the computer, get coffee, pick up the house… but indeed they do, they're just perfectly happy to sit in your arms while you do almost anything. Apparently Jason killed Harold's other bunnies, but the one we saw lives. Unfortunately we cannot say the same for Harold and his wife.

Okay, so now we have a bunch of teens going to stay out in this cabin with nearby barn that is located near Camp Crystal Lake, which [I think] belongs to the family of Chris, this odious girl who will unfortunately be our heroine. Chris alludes to some trouble she had at that place back in the day, and she is returning now in part to face her fears. Her friends are this other couple her age, and then, rather incongruously, these two hippies that seem to be at least 20 years older. What is happening here? It does, however, lead to a shot of the woman offering a joint, originally intended in 3-D, to the audience. Soon after they see a cop behind them, so they start eating all the grass, and then—the cop passes them! Hoo boy, is that funny. I really don't care for such college humor, but it's all swallowed up into the genial 1982 randy teen vibe—which we must also acknowledge as a force pulling the series away from serious horror and into "amusing teen movie" land. Ah, a slippery slope.

So they're a drivin' down the road when they come to this hobo sleeping in the middle of the road, who shows then this human eyeball he just happens to have on hand. Bums always have to be waving some sense organ around, you know? It's SO irritating. One other thing about this movie is that it is chock-a-block with false scares… of course, at the time false scares were fairly new. So before all Chris' friends arrive at the barn, Chris and Rick have some insufferable flirting "comedy." When they all arrive, we are introduced to Shelly, the fat nerdy friend, and a male, by the way, despite his name. He is sort of a proto Seth Rogen. He and this brunette girl take Rick's car to the local store, where they are harassed by the local cadre or mixed-race bikers. Wow, tough town. This is made exponentially more delightful by the fact that the female biker is named "Fox." They end up getting away, but not before the windshield and side windows are smashed. The brunette makes to just walk off once they get back, but when Rick observes that "you smashed my car," she responds with "Oh. Yeah. We're really sorry, but it's not our fault." Oh, I see. No problem, then! As long as it wasn't your fault. Can you imagine? I know someone who isn't going to isn't going to get to borrow the car again—and not just because she ends up impaled.

So after noting that Rick wears red-based plaid shirts with a powder-blue sweater thrown over his shoulders [?!!?], the aforementioned bikers end up out by the barn. I forgot where all the teens are at that point, but they aren't there. While the guys are messing around, Fox goes to investigate the barn, wearing a very self-satisfied smirk. I got a huge chuckle out of this because as far as I know, not too many thrill-seeking mixed-race biker chicks in leather and animal prints see a BARN and say "Awww, YEAH! I'm gonna go check out this BARN! Gonna look at all the tools… Mmm-hmmm, that'll be TIGHT!" But maybe I'm just prejudiced. Soon the other bikers join her and they all die.

Meanwhile Chris is reminiscing with Rick over when she was attacked by some mysterious goon years ago when visiting that area. She was finally subdued and dragged away by him and then… she blacked out. She next woke up in her bed at home. Okay, so what happened while she was blacked out? Inquiring minds want to know—especially inquiring dirty minds. But the fact is we'll never know.

Meanwhile the hippie is menaced as he smokes a joint on the crapper, then Shelly springs out of the lake—both of these part of the INCEASSANT false scares the movie engages in. Shelly, who has once before engaged in an inappropriate scare that just made everyone thing he's a jerk, says "Being a jerk is better than being a nothing." Woah, are we engaging in some DEPTH PSYCHOLOGY? This is really so touching.

SPOILERS > > >
Anyway, as surely you know, this is the movie in which Jason gets his mask. Stupid Shelly is wearing it as a joke, then Jason put it on and wears it for the rest of the movie… and the series. I like the Jason in this movie, he moves at a fairly slow, deliberate pace that has an air of the casual to it, like he's just, you know, doin' his thing. Upstairs, this dude Andy is sleeping with—you know, one of the girls, I can't recall her name—in a hammock, then gets out and walks down the hall on his hands. Check out the one shot through a glass floor looking up, as Jason gives it to him—it doesn't show much, but still comes off as incredibly brutal. The girl in the hammock soon meets a similar, although logically ludicrous fate. Soon Shelly shows up with his throat slashed, but everyone thinks he's kidding. You see what happens to jokers? Then someone gets their skull crushed and their eyeball comes right out at the camera—love it. I like that this movie takes time for little moments that make each of the characters distinctive. It's not great, but it seems much better when compared to the characterless victims of today's slasher films.

Anyway, soon it gets to the showdown between Jason and Chris. Now, I find Chris an annoying whiner, but I have to appreciate that when worst comes to worst, she pulls the knife right out of her friend and goes into attack mode. I won't go into the details, but she plots a strategy and goes for it, and I appreciate that. There's also a good moment when Jason lifts up his mask just to show her that it's HIM, the guy who attacked her years earlier! The Jasons' and Michael Myers' of this world don't often seem to take a perverse enjoyment in what they do, so this was a nice little added touch. There's a little coda—which doesn't make a lot of sense—and then it's over!
< < < SPOILERS END

Not bad, but not great, by any stretch of the imagination, although next to Scream or I Know What You Did the Tuesday Before Last Between the Hours of 3 and 4:15 it looks like Hitchcock or some shit. I like the little details like the nice shot of the multi-colored sheets fluttering in the breeze, the small little character bits many of the people here get [when they aren't stupid], Jason's taking a pleasure in his work, and our final person standing and fighting instead of hiding, crying and whimpering. On the minus side… it's all starting to get a bit tired, especially the camp setting. I really liked the boat setting of Friday 8, and I'm eager for the series to leave Camp Crystal Lake behind and move on… although I know it's a slippery slope that ends up in a lot of crappy movies. Ah well. This could be worse, it's kind of fun, and now has the added benefit of nostalgic early 80s style. At the same time, I could have totally lived without it. That's the paradox.

SHOULD YOU WATCH IT?

If you want… it won't kill you, but it's not that great.