Family Romances
March 2008

Let's face it: incest is one of everyone's favorite topics! And whether as text or subtext, you don't have to cast your net too wide to snare a bunch of movies with incestuous material. Here's a few choice selections that are featured right here on this very site.

Amityville II: The Possession
The most shocking thing about this movie is that it's pretty GOOD, by far the best of the Amityville series, although it does devolve into Exorcist rip-off territory by the end. Anyway, this family [set up as the ones haunting the house in the first film] are a virtual catalog of abuse, with a serious incestuous vibe between mother and son, sister and brother, and creepiest of all, the two little kids. Brother and sister finally do end up tucking the family jewels into a snug velvety case, after which, of course, the sister is wholly blamed. If you want to watch an Amityville film and not totally rue your entire life afterward, this is the one. Plus, it's directed by someone named Damiano Damiani, who brings an Italian horror vibe to the whole thing.

The Baby
One of the weirdest, most jaw-dropping things you'll ever see, this movie features bizarre characters in even more bizarre situations. Mom and her two daughters keep their 21-year-old son/younger brother in an infantilized state, and it seems that at least one of the sisters, the utterly delightful Marianna Hill [of Messiah of Evil] as Germaine, likes to take advantage of her sibling's immature mentality and mature physicality. One of the babysitters also can't resist letting the l'il fella get some breast-feeding practice. If you don't think a movie could possibly shock you anymore…

The Butterfly Effect
I don't know, does making child porn of your kids count as incest, if it's never directly implied that Daddy caressed the little tykes? Whatever, we'll take any excuse to watch the ever-delightful gem The Butterfly Effect, which marries a fun sci-fi premise [going back in time to save the future!] to some of the most ludicrously over-the-top SERIOUS topics like child abuse, kiddie porn, animal torture… so serious that it all starts to come off like the work of a sixth-grader who really, REALLY wants to make, like, a STATEMENT. Plus it stars Ashton Kutcher and Amy Smart trying to totally ACT, you know, like totally SERIOUS actors. And while you're at it, you may as well watch the direct-to-video The Butterfly Effect II, which has no incest, but has a decent story and charming performances.

Caligula
Suddenly finding himself the Emperor, a position he seems to be unable to take seriously, Caligula doesn't quite feel like marrying to produce an heir, and is really keen on his sister, so he essentially tells the populace to accept her as their Empress. Though he eventually marries [Helen Mirren, no less], his sister remains the love of his life and [in the film at least] his main motivation… at least until he gets too bizarre, and wants to practice an amateur caesarian on her… If you've never sent his, you NEED to watch it at least once. I was genuinely fascinated by it.

Kiss of the Tarantula
Susan is sure keen on her daddy, a tall hunk of mortician, and just wants him alllllll to herself, if only it weren't for her pesky mom, who's boffing local lawman Uncle Walter. A well-placed spider gets rid of mom, but soon Susan has to contend with the ever-more explicit advances of Uncle Walter—not to mention the irritating antics of her peers, who don't understand her affection for her eight-legged friends. It's the old triangle—she wants her Dad, her Dad's brother wants her, Dad wants corpses. Ah, l'amour.

The Killing Kind
Terry returns to his mom's house from prison for rape, and it soon becomes apparent that mom and Terry share a very close, very special relationship. No, they never get it on, although we DO see him put a killing on her pussy. It's just that she, like any good mother, helps him cover up his murders and the collateral damage of his bizarrely twisted sense of humor. We also find that incarceration for rape is well-neigh irresistible to young women [ain't that right, ladies?], causing both local librarians and pre-Shirley Cindy Williams' to throw themselves at our hero in this disturbing gem from Curtis Harrington.

Lovers of the Arctic Circle
Oto and Ana are only stepbrother and stepsister, so it's really no big deal when they finally consummate their lifelong love, having numerous hot sex fests in the family bedrooms as their parents sleep only a few doors down, rushing back to their own rooms in the morning. Believe it or not, it's all unbelievably romantic, and only one aspect of a swoonily emotional movie about true love, destiny, and finding the one you're meant to be with.

A Nightmare on Elm Street
There's no explicit incest in this movie, just an extremely clear-cut case of the old Electra complex, in which a girl wants mommy out of the way so she can have her studly daddy all to herself. In this case mom is an ineffective alcoholic who is largely responsible for the trouble her daughter Nancy is going through, and dad is hot cop John Saxon, most often away from home on police work. In the end mom is gone and Nancy finally convinces her hunky dad to spend a little more time at home. Nice work, Nancy!

Pigs [AKA Daddy’s Deadly Darling]
So get this real-life story: A character actor wants to make a movie to launch his daughter's film career. So he writes and directs a film about a girl who was raped by her father, then killed him. The girl then hooks up with a father figure who takes her in, and feeds the bodies of the men who come on to her to his pigs. In the film, the real-life director pays special attention to his daughter's breasts. And the result of all this is Pigs.

Torso
Sure, few young girls want to be sold into prostitution with older men at a young age, and expected to get in a lot of practice with dad to hone their craft, but it does partially pay off down the line when one can count on one's parent's to do the hard work of hacking one's husband to pieces and disposing of the body parts, as happens in this recreation of the most notorious Canadian murder of the early 20th century.

Valerie and her Week of Wonders
14-year-old Valerie's young mind is a swirling miasma of sexual fantasies, often centering on all the nasty adult men who want to pop her cherry. She tries to avoid "The Weasel," a man who can transform into the animal and back again, who may or may not be this nasty guy with hideous teeth, who periodically transforms into a studly young knight—who is the same guy as her father, when he is finally revealed at the end. It's all just a phantasmagoria on a young girl's sexual fantasies, which her dear old dad apparently plays quite a complicated role in.

The Witch Who Came From the Sea
Molly is held back from her potential as a top cocktail waitress—top!—by her obsession with staring at guys' crotches, arranging sex sessions with strapping fellas, and then hacking their cocks off. It's all because her sea captain dad got rather friendly with her at a young age, which caused her to be obsessed with both sex and the sea. Luckily, she has a cadre of good friends that help divert to police from her gruesome crimes.